Stewie For President

[Snodley Richter]

Hi Raven! Has you missed me much at all? I been busy so I aint had time to call or get on here. I printed that picture of you with the baby you posted back around Christmas I printed it and have it under my pillow. I edited the baby out and put my own picture there instead. Was that OK? It's a piture of me with no clothes on but you still have clothes on in it since I didn't have none of you without clothes.

[Nana]

why don't you 2 fruitcakes take this off the public board!

[Raven Soul]

Here is his stance on the issues:

ON THE IRAQ WAR: "For God's sake, Mr. Bush, if you're going to lie to the entire country, at least make it sound plausible. I mean, Iraq with weapons of mass destruction? It's practically a third world country, you imbecile! They're lucky if they can make Shrinky Dinks! Now, if you'd really wanted to get this nation of piddling morons on your side, you should've told them Saddam Hussein is actually just Gallagher in a beret."

ON GAY RIGHTS: "Homosexuals deserve the same rights as anyone else. Including the right to marry whomever I - I mean, they choose. They are a truly magnificent group of people. I've heard. From other people. I mean, I'm not gay. What are you rolling your eyes for? I said I'M NOT GAY! DAMN YOU!!"

ON DRUGS: "All I know is, that LSD is powerful stuff. One time Brian tricked me into trying some, and for the next two hours I had the most intense conversation of my life with Liza Minelli. When I came out of it she was gone, of course, but the strange thing was that somebody had eaten half an entire roast beef from the fridge."

ON FREE SPEECH: "I say, bravo, Michael Moore!! I applaud your show of testicular fortitude at the Oscars. Any rabble-rouser is a man after my own heart! Besides, at least that was two minutes where we didn't have to listen to Cameron Diaz trying to sound out the words on the goddamn teleprompter."

ON SEX EDUCATION: "I say to hell with sex education!! The more pregnant teens there are, the more futureless babies will be born which I can then brainwash into joining my army of infants to take over the world."

ON ABORTION: "Once again, see above-referenced platform regarding my army of infants to take over the world."

ON PROSTITUTION: "If Eddie Murphy wants to keep whoring himself out for those "Dr. DoLittle" movies, who am I to criticize him?"

ON WORLD HUNGER: "It's so bloody depressing to see those photos of emaciated people who look like they haven't eaten a thing in six months. And that's just the Marc Jacobs ads. Ba-ZING!!"

ON GUN CONTROL: "Fine. As long as I'm the one controlling the guns."


If you would like, feel free to take my stewie banner and use it as well.

<font color="#000002" size="1">[ March 12, 2004 12:46 PM: Message edited by: Quoth the Raven ]</font>